Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Well, DUH!!!

The New York Times published this article that I just thought was great and finally confirmed my beliefs that dog training and working with kids, while not the same, do have some distinct parallels.

Kids are not like dogs. There are some very intrinsic differences. As both a teacher and a dog trainer I can see both sides of the coin. But how you approach working with a child and working with a dog can be the same! Patience, structure, confidence, and most importantly consistency. I thought this article was very good.

To quote:

It’s little wonder, then, that some parents, and even a few child therapists, have found themselves taking mental notes from a television personality known for inspiring discipline, order and devotion: Cesar Millan, otherwise known as the Dog Whisperer.

Cesar Millan is a great dog psychologist. He has some great ideas about how to work with a dog and I really respect him for his overall ability to work with any dog.

“That goes along with the philosophy of the Dog Whisperer,” the host added. Brenna Hicks, a child therapist in Palm Harbor, Fla., who writes an advice blog, The Kid Counselor, adapted Mr. Millan’s central idea, that dogs take their cues from their masters, and misbehave only when the masters fail to carry themselves, in body language and tone of voice, like pack leaders. In a post, “Raising Kids: Wisdom From the Dog Whisperer,” she wrote, “When we present nervous, angry or scared energy in front of our kids, they pick up on those emotions.”

This is exactly what I was told when I first started puppy raising. They always told us that "it travels down the leash." If you're angry or upset they are going to react to this. Kids react in close to the same way. Babies stress if parents are stressed. It's a lot of reacting.

“Unlike modern parents,” she added, “dog trainers don’t think discipline equals being mean. They understand that dogs are happiest when they know their position in the hierarchy.”

So is it “spare the rolled-up newspaper, spoil the child?” Not exactly. Many Dog Whisperer techniques — say, the push on the neck to get a dog’s attention — are best left to the kennel, unless you welcome a visit from Child Protective Services.

I totally agree with that. I wouldn't use a tennis racket to corral my child or student if he or she was biting. LOL. But dog training has a lot of good ideas, that, mixed with common sense, can do a lot of good to parents.

One thing that Millan points out often is that you shouldn't accept beginning behaviours. He doesn't stop the dog when s/he is charging across the lawn to attack another dog. He stops the dog when her/his body language shows s/he is starting to consider attacking the other dog (i.e. perked ears, hackles up, aggressive tail, etc.). Just like you don't get angry at a child when he runs into the street. You stop him/her before you get into the street, remind him/her that s/he needs to look, then you cross together. Stop the behaviour before it gets to that point!

To some parents, however, moving Dog Whisperer theories into the human realm is not so much about changing their child’s attitude as it is about changing their own.

That's what it's all about.

Here is the full article.

To add... I love going to Disneyland and restaurants because I get to see how I DON'T want to parent.